Jane Austen Lied to Me

 

 

JANE AUSTEN LIED TO ME

by Jeanette Watts

GENRE:  Romantic Comedy

Dear Diary, 

In three years of college, there are seven times my life seemed to suddenly turn into a Jane Austen novel; seven times my life, instead of becoming a romance, turned into a made-for-TV drama.

 

 What am I doing wrong?

Excerpt: 

Dec 20

Christmas break is such a relief. I don’t have to face Ken for several weeks, although he’ll probably be in my Spanish class next semester. Maybe I’ll text him and ask which section he’s in, and I’ll arrange my schedule so that I’m in a different class. That’s probably a good strategy. But I’m not texting him today.

The first thing I did when I got home was sit down and play two hours of video games with my little brother. Blowing things up can be incredibly therapeutic. It’s a little amazing that David was willing to play with me so long. I was beating the pants off him game after game. He finally quit on me.

“Wow, you must have had a really lousy time at school, or you’re really mad at someone,” he threw his controls onto the coffee table. “You never play like this. I’ve never seen you shoot so fast. Who do think you’re shooting at?”

“Actually, the correct grammar would be ‘at whom do you think you’re shooting,’” I told him. “But that’s me being a dick. Thanks for noticing. There was a guy at school I was really interested in, but it turns out he already had a girlfriend.”

“That stinks,” David said. Then he blinked. “Wait, I thought Wendy said you were going out with Eddie Jameson?”

“I wanted to, but it didn’t work out.”

“Why didn’t it work out? You’ve been best friends for so long, it makes sense.” He had such a puzzled frown on his face, I reached over and hugged him.

Sometimes a girl really needs her little brother.

About the Author:

Jeanette Watts has written three Jane Austen-inpsired novels, two other works of historical fiction, stage melodramas, television commercials, and humorous essays for Kindle Vella.

When she is not writing, she is either dancing, sewing, or walking around in costume at a Renaissance festival talking in a funny accent and offering to find new ladies’ maids for everyone she finds in fashionably-ripped jeans.

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